The other Metroid rep will be Adam and his only attack will be telling the other players that they aren't authorized to attack him.If he goes up against Samus, she just jumps off and has a 15 minute inner monologue about just how fucking amazing of a person Adam is and how she could never go on without him.
And she strips down to zero suit, naturally.
"Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind."
"Okay, okay. So you put a Nazi on the Moon. Fuck you, Moon."