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QOTD (Read 3293449 times)

Started by Valodim, August 26, 2007, 08:25:30 pm
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Re: QOTD
#16621  February 23, 2019, 01:38:57 am
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behold the worst game review ever created where the writer hasn't even played the fucking game:
Quote
The Last of Us Review – Game Features

Many followers requested us to write brief The Last of Us review, It is an exciting action  first person  shooting game. The game is all about survival.



Are you ... kidding me?

It's a third-person game... they couldn't even get the GENRE right.

(God, this is reminding me about IGN's "Sonic was never good" ordeal all over again)
Re: QOTD
#16622  March 07, 2019, 10:21:09 pm
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50 cent (in a freestyle)  said:
i had to stash crack in my ass crack.

returning the word "shitty" to its original meaning huh 50?
I'm going to let god handle you people ✞
Re: QOTD
#16623  March 27, 2019, 06:20:01 am
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Quote
In a flashback, Dante’s mother tells him to “be strong, be a man” shortly before she dies. Using this memory suggests that this has been his goal ever since and still guides his actions. The message is as simplistic as it is clear: real men are strong, and exhibiting that strength is fun. You can further  see how DMC 5 is designed for male enjoyment when  you look at the role women get to play.
https://unwinnable.com/2019/03/25/the-toxicity-of-power-in-devil-may-cry-5/

game journalism was a mistake
Re: QOTD
#16624  March 27, 2019, 06:32:36 am
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My brain hurts just reading that article.
Re: QOTD
#16625  April 13, 2019, 12:30:02 am
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Quote
“Oh my god. That looks so painful. Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit I’m freaking out. I can’t watch. Oh my god oh my god oh my god I can’t watch.”

“Then don’t.” I said through gritted teeth. It might’ve hurt like a bitch, but I was the one being penetrated, yet somehow I was holding it together better than a bystander.

He kept freaking out.
Spoiler, click to toggle visibilty
Re: QOTD
#16626  April 17, 2019, 09:37:57 pm
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So basically, their watches cost $5′500 because of the expensive marketing that is required to make people pay $5′500 for a watch.
Re: QOTD
#16627  April 22, 2019, 09:30:51 pm
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Re: QOTD
#16628  July 07, 2019, 10:14:12 am
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On the FT3 asteroid:

I'm ready for impact.

faith restored?
I'm going to let god handle you people ✞
Re: QOTD
#16629  July 18, 2019, 04:48:13 pm
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Quote
OH EGADS, My roast is cursed! but what if I was to purchase forbidden objects and past it off as my own...

...perhaps this will please the young gentleman.
_I thought we were having steamed clams
No, no, no I said frozen yogurt, which i call Frogurt! 
_you call frozen yogurt, Frogurt?
yes it's a regional dialect.
_uhh huh, from what region?
from places men fear to tread.
_you know this frozen yogurt is quite similar to the ones they have at krusty burger
no, no the frogurt is also cursed
_oh that's bad
but you get your choice of topping
_that's good but you call it frogurt despite the fact it contains potassium benzoate.
well i... suppost that... it's...
_Can I go home now?
Re: QOTD
#16630  August 04, 2019, 11:03:46 pm
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Re: QOTD
#16631  August 04, 2019, 11:47:51 pm
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Ah yes, the language of the gods.

Side note: Wasn't aware the game had a sequel.

Oh, I want a diagram. I fucking love diagrams.
Re: QOTD
#16632  October 02, 2019, 11:56:42 pm
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Quote

In the dog world, humans are elves that routinely live to be 500+ years old.

“They live so long…but the good ones still bond with us for our entire lives.”

“These immortals are so kind we must be good friends to them”

“Now I am old. The fur around my muzzle is grey and my joints ache when we walk together. Yet she remains unchanged, her hair still glossy, her skin still fresh, her step still sprightly. Time doesn’t touch her and yet I love her still.”

“For generations, he has guarded over my family. Since the days of my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather he has kept us safe. For so long we thought him immortal. But now I see differently, for just as my fur grows gray and my joints grow stiff, so too do his. He did not take in my children, but gave them away to his. I will be the last that he cares for. My only hope is that I am able to last until his final moments. The death of one of his kind is so rare. The ending of a life so long is such a tragedy. He has seen so much, he knows so much. I know he takes comfort in my presence. I only wish that I will be able to give him this comfort until the end.”

Re: QOTD
#16633  October 03, 2019, 12:01:09 am
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That was truly beautiful. I love my dog even more now.
:bravo:
Re: QOTD
#16634  October 03, 2019, 12:44:16 am
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I've seen that story shared numerous times over the years with various minor altercations here and there, mostly shared by old folk on Facebook.  Wonder where it originates from, it's nice.
Re: QOTD
#16635  October 04, 2019, 07:37:04 pm
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first saw that post way back in 12 during the hobbits hype. which was overshadowed by ancient mexican end of the world hibby jibbies.
Re: QOTD
#16636  October 05, 2019, 06:34:45 am
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Quote

In the dog world, humans are elves that routinely live to be 500+ years old.

“They live so long…but the good ones still bond with us for our entire lives.”

“These immortals are so kind we must be good friends to them”

“Now I am old. The fur around my muzzle is grey and my joints ache when we walk together. Yet she remains unchanged, her hair still glossy, her skin still fresh, her step still sprightly. Time doesn’t touch her and yet I love her still.”

“For generations, he has guarded over my family. Since the days of my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather he has kept us safe. For so long we thought him immortal. But now I see differently, for just as my fur grows gray and my joints grow stiff, so too do his. He did not take in my children, but gave them away to his. I will be the last that he cares for. My only hope is that I am able to last until his final moments. The death of one of his kind is so rare. The ending of a life so long is such a tragedy. He has seen so much, he knows so much. I know he takes comfort in my presence. I only wish that I will be able to give him this comfort until the end.”

my cat red this, yawned, and jumped off my lap
Re: QOTD
#16637  January 10, 2020, 10:40:16 pm
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Quote
Hello and welcome to the 77th annual Golden Globe Awards, live from the Beverly Hilton Hotel here in Los Angeles. I’m Ricky Gervais, thank you.

You’ll be pleased to know this is the last time I’m hosting these awards, so I don’t care anymore. I’m joking. I never did. I’m joking, I never did. NBC clearly don’t care either — fifth time. I mean, Kevin Hart was fired from the Oscars for some offensive tweets — hello?

Lucky for me, the Hollywood Foreign Press can barely speak English and they’ve no idea what Twitter is, so I got offered this gig by fax. Let’s go out with a bang, let’s have a laugh at your expense. Remember, they’re just jokes. We’re all gonna die soon and there’s no sequel, so remember that.

But you all look lovely all dolled up. You came here in your limos. I came here in a limo tonight and the license plate was made by Felicity Huffman. No, shush. It’s her daughter I feel sorry for. OK? That must be the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to her. And her dad was in Wild Hogs.

Lots of big celebrities here tonight. Legends. Icons. This table alone — Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro … Baby Yoda. Oh, that’s Joe Pesci, sorry. I love you man. Don’t have me whacked. But tonight isn’t just about the people in front of the camera. In this room are some of the most important TV and film executives in the world. People from every background. They all have one thing in common: They’re all terrified of Ronan Farrow. He’s coming for ya. Talking of all you perverts, it was a big year for pedophile movies. Surviving R. Kelly, Leaving Neverland, Two Popes. Shut up. Shut up. I don’t care. I don’t care.

Many talented people of color were snubbed in major categories. Unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do about that. Hollywood Foreign press are all very racist. Fifth time. So. We were going to do an In-Memoriam this year, but when I saw the list of people who died, it wasn’t diverse enough. No, it was mostly white people and I thought, nah, not on my watch. Maybe next year. Let’s see what happens.

No one cares about movies anymore. No one goes to cinema, no one really watches network TV. Everyone is watching Netflix. This show should just be me coming out, going, "Well done Netflix. You win everything. Good night." But no, we got to drag it out for three hours. You could binge-watch the entire first season of Afterlife instead of watching this show. That’s a show about a man who wants to kill himself cause his wife dies of cancer and it’s still more fun than this. Spoiler alert, season two is on the way so in the end he obviously didn’t kill himself. Just like Jeffrey Epstein. Shut up. I know he’s your friend but I don’t care.

Seriously, most films are awful. Lazy. Remakes, sequels. I’ve heard a rumor there might be a sequel to Sophie’s Choice. I mean, that would just be Meryl just going, "Well, it’s gotta be this one then." All the best actors have jumped to Netflix, HBO. And the actors who just do Hollywood movies now do fantasy-adventure nonsense. They wear masks and capes and really tight costumes. Their job isn’t acting anymore. It’s going to the gym twice a day and taking steroids, really. Have we got an award for most ripped junky? No point, we’d know who’d win that.

Martin Scorsese made the news for his controversial comments about the Marvel franchise. He said they’re not real cinema and they remind him about theme parks. I agree. Although I don’t know what he’s doing hanging around theme parks. He’s not big enough to go on the rides. He’s tiny. The Irishman was amazing. It was amazing. It was great. Long, but amazing. It wasn’t the only epic movie. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, nearly three hours long. Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere and by the end his date was too old for him. Even Prince Andrew was like, “Come on, Leo, mate. You’re nearly 50-something.”

The world got to see James Corden as a fat p****. He was also in the movie Cats. No one saw that movie. And the reviews, shocking. I saw one that said, "This is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs." But Dame Judi Dench defended the film saying it was the film she was born to play because she loves nothing better than plunking herself down on the carpet, lifting her leg and licking her [expletive]. (Coughs) Hairball. She’s old-school.

It’s the last time, who cares? Apple roared into the TV game with The Morning Show, a superb drama about the importance of dignity and doing the right thing, made by a company that runs sweatshops in China. Well, you say you’re woke but the companies you work for in China — unbelievable. Apple, Amazon, Disney. If ISIS started a streaming service you’d call your agent, wouldn’t you?

So if you do win an award tonight, don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech. You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg.

So if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent, and your God and f*** off, OK? It’s already three hours long. Right, let’s do the first award.
Re: QOTD
#16638  January 12, 2020, 09:04:52 pm
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who watches these awards? really who?
Re: QOTD
#16639  January 12, 2020, 10:08:35 pm
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18 million people.
If I struggled to the end of my determination, to the end of my way of life with my followers, if the result is ruin, then this ruin is inevitable. Grieve. Shed tears. But you cannot regret.
Re: QOTD
#16640  January 13, 2020, 12:53:45 am
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He didn't spit, he put salt, sand, pepper and iode to rip it over and keep it burning.