March 13th, 20XX

   Today I met this incredible girl on YourHotBook.com. She was looking for a man that would treat her right and do all the things for her that no other man would be willing to do. Her profile pic is pretty cute, too. It's a shot of her looking up towards the camera with little to no make-up on and some weird filtering. I guess she must be artistic.

March 17th, 20XX

  So I finally set up a date with xoxoHotStuffxoxo. I'm really wondering what I should wear. Maybe I should just dress normally, so I don't come off as too interested. I have to remember to play hard to get, otherwise she might just think I'm only interested in sex. I'm really hoping this in the one.

March 21st, 20XX

  I met up with her at the local Sonic. At least I think it was her. Her profile mentioned something about "a little baby fat". I guess baby fat can really add up. She's a nice girl though and I'm not really superficial. Her name is Selina. The rest of the night we sat around and talked, ate, and had a good time. She wants to go out again with me. I have a feeling about this one.

March 25, 20XX

  WOW. That is all I can say about last night. We went to the TGI Fridays off Route 99 last night. She ordered a pretty big meal and we both drank A LOT of booze. I don't remember the last time I got so shitfaced. We ended up going back to her place. She must be a workaholic, because he apartment was kind of messy and smelled a little weird. It's all good, though. Far be it from me to judge anyone. So we go in her room and she starts to undress. I swear to God it was the second most incredible thing I've seen next to the laser show at the planetarium. She slowly undid her bra and pulled her panties down. I never really had much experience in these kinds of things. Nobody ever told me that some women only trim a little bit, or not at all. She was most definitely the latter.

She seductively rolled onto her bed and spread he legs, revealing her hairy muff to me. I eagerly dove for it. The smell was not exactly what I expected. It was like sweaty armpits and old milk. I figure it was just because we had been out having such a good time that she got a little stinky. Small price to pay if you ask me. I lapped her with my tongue until her body started to squirm, her stomach making gurgling sounds. Then she shook and shook until I felt a slight, warm breeze on my chin. That's right, bitch. I'm a man and I just made you cum. I stood up to penetrate her, when she stopped me suddenly.

She stood up, went to her closet, and pulled out this weird pair of leather panties with what looked like a rubber penis on it. She told me that it was my turn. She bent me over the bed and told me to relax. I heard her as she spit and felt a warm sensation on my butthole. The rest of the night is mostly a blur after that, but I can tell I had a good time because when I woke up I was outside her apartment completely naked with a sign that said "Sissy Boy" hanging from my neck. I guess sissy boy is latin or something.

April 2nd, 20XX

  After more than a week she still hasn't returned any of my calls or e-mails. This is my life. Just when I think I found something meaningful and good, I get fucked. I'm so tired of this game women think they can play with me. Well, my dad always told me to "fuck 'em and leave 'em" so that's how I'm gonna take this. Time for this MAN to find himself a REAL WOMAN.

April 3rd, 20XX

  Just starting talking to this girl on AdultFriendFinder.com. I figured with a name like that, it must be full of mature, honest people like me. Her profile name is DontTellMyHusband0908 and it says that she's into casual encounters. That's awesome. I was looking for someone to teach Ultimate Frisbee to. She seems like the kind of woman for me.

I don't know how this would work but here it goes:

Heres how my day went. I first played with my twat wide open in the middle of my room.

Then, I went to the local Burger King where only faggots are allowed. There, I opened out

my winky and played with it and rubbed it on many surfaces. Then, the faggots started to do

the same thing. Since I was a homophobe, whatever you call it, I hated faggots. So I got

out my toothbrush which I use to clean my twat and broke the glass door to get myself out

of that cesspool. I then walked in the streets where all I saw was this slippery white goo

that came out of many places I see. I assume it was mayonaise so I scooped up some of it

and put it on a pizza which I was hiding in my girlfriend's pants which I brought with me

to clean at the laundrymat. As I was enjoying my pizza, I went back home to relax and

played with my twat and winky once more.

I woke up later with herpes and relizing I was in the grave to die as I was buried there

with Drew Pickles, Kung Fu Man, and Benito Mussolini.

IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO MY DEMANS TOO LATE