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The Bible (I lol'd) (Read 3253 times)

Started by yelocakeffect, September 16, 2009, 06:04:25 am
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The Bible (I lol'd)
#1  September 16, 2009, 06:04:25 am
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  • ^Fuck you Titiln. :D
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Old Testament: God creates the universe and he sees it and it's serious business, but then Satan pretends to be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her " Apple or GTFO"(cuz she was already showing tits). She chooses the former and then her and her fuck buddy Adam get b& from Eden for being trollbait. Then a lot of serious fucking incest occurs and we get the human race (which explains a lot, really).

Then later, God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler pwning the jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens up the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it behind him and drowning the ancient Nazis; God Lol'd.

Some other less important shit happens, mostly composed of a bunch of we are dumb fucks spamming this site for ten yearss writing emo poetry about god for him to fap to.

New Testament: God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later Jesus is born. For his 13th birthday God gave Jesus more cheat codes than he gave Moses, plus the rcon password for life, and some CP.

Later, Jesus became a hard core ska punk and trolled the old school jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had god mode turned on though, so he waited 3 days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life's server, and laughed at the Jews.

After that, 3 more guys tell the same story, then this we are dumb fucks spamming this site for ten years Paul wrote an assload of shit about sex being evil and a bunch of other stuff that Jesus never fucking said but everybody listened to Paul anyway because they're stupid.

THE END

- By Noah McHugh

I read the bible, it was epic as hell.
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Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#2  September 16, 2009, 06:19:20 am
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turn this post into a lolcat FTW
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#3  September 16, 2009, 06:26:56 am
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This is epic. Epic for the win.
conscious dreamers can be treasurer to their own currency
im a conscious dreamer
therefore i can be treasurer to my own currency

i can be the mind controller
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#4  September 16, 2009, 06:33:47 am
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tried to use my Epic Win Detecter on this thread and it exploded. thats how much epic win this thread contains. proceed w caution
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#5  September 16, 2009, 06:36:20 am
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  • and the show goes on
this is more trustable, than anything else, epic win
made of ripped hearts waving far away,
only my memory stays still, as i say.
Looking to sky,
oh, how many people wished to fly?
i don't know,
beacuse life's harshness is a mainpart of god's show
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#6  September 16, 2009, 06:36:32 am
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shit's better than any cliff notes
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#7  September 16, 2009, 07:21:29 am
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Can I print that out and give it out door to door. I will even ride that fag bike and wear the tie.
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#8  September 16, 2009, 11:21:45 am
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This is offensive to all Nazi's living or dead. Shame on you  :no:
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#9  September 16, 2009, 11:57:36 pm
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  • It's like I can touch you!
That's probably the best modern summary for the bible I've ever seen. This should be posted everywhere.
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#10  September 17, 2009, 12:06:03 am
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I lol'd in my pants.

GT

Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#11  September 17, 2009, 04:16:16 am
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Pharaohs?!
Yeah Titiln, in fact, You Made Him
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#12  September 17, 2009, 04:24:56 am
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This thread is awesome. :sugoi:
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#13  September 17, 2009, 04:32:39 am
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 o_O
* Tony 3rd checks site address

no. its supposed to be the guild....
* Tony 3rd checks thread again...

i don't even enter /b/, how the hell i ended up here... I'm sure i haven't rolled critical when entering the umbra...
* Tony 3rd checks metaphysics GPS system.

not its alright... have supes punched reality again?
* Tony 3rd walks away, trying to find earth prime again.
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#14  September 17, 2009, 04:57:17 am
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lol at god ahaha
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#15  September 17, 2009, 05:07:12 am
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Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#16  September 17, 2009, 05:23:07 am
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almost funny, the originator should tighten it up a bit. skip the irreverent bits and go for more of a "non-silly" laugh. pretty good though; it took a lot of thought.
2 and a half out of 5 stars.
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#17  September 17, 2009, 04:29:14 pm
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I must confess to God : I LOL'd.
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#18  September 17, 2009, 09:18:02 pm
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  • mirror, mirror...
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this is different than the bible that I burnt..
-I hate haters and S.o.S chars.....
-time to migrate from winmugen...
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#19  September 20, 2009, 06:39:57 am
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Heh, that's pretty funny, gotta love the use of words in that.

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Originally Posted by hsieh10 on ACX:
If I were to preorder the game in Australia, would the language be English or Australian? (or is English the official language in Australia as well?)
Re: The Bible (I lol'd)
#20  September 20, 2009, 02:12:30 pm
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This is so awesome.
RIP Michael Jackson
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