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need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o (Read 1358 times)

Started by Borghi, January 08, 2010, 03:52:46 am
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need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#1  January 08, 2010, 03:52:46 am
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like the title says, I need some translating help.

I'm gonna participe in a script contest in a New Zealand website. So, I prepared a pitch to "sell" the idea. But it must be in correct engligh. So, wanna help me?

here's the pitch:
(thanks :) )

-------

Hello, I'm Andrés from Argentina. I'm a film director and visual effects composser and prepared a funny story called "Working day" for "Your big break". It starts with a guy called William that wakes up in his room when the alarm clock sounds. He washes his teeth and eats his breakfast. Then he puts on a construction helmet so we asume he is a construction worker. Once he is ready he goes out to work and we see this.

-archive footage

William keeps doing his job and sees something on the floor. It's a young Maori that stares to him without believing what he sees. He is standing next to a canoa with a trail that comes from the sea behind him since he is the first Maori to arrive New Zealand. William is also surprised to see the Maori. He tells the little guy that he is sorry, but people wasn't supposed to arrive yet since the place is not finished. The Maori keeps staring the giant until he starts screaming frightened and takes the canoa again to scape from William with crazy and silly movements. Well, that's the story.

There are:
-2 actors (one is me)
-7 greenscreen shots (all greenscreen footage is already done)
-1 interior scene in one location
-1 exterior scene in one location
-Post-produced by myself

I can easily compose the shots with the greenscreen footage within the post-production week.

So, the basic idea is that New Zealand is a place so young that someone got to see the man that created it with his own eyes just by getting there too soon.

      
Little John from the big castle, plays with little friend,
snip! snip! snip! off goes his head, bright red! bright red!
Last Edit: January 08, 2010, 03:57:59 am by Borghi
Re: need help to trasnlate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#2  January 08, 2010, 03:57:53 am
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I found it kinda weird that he washes his teeths before eating his breakfast.

Quote
staring at the giant
Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#3  January 08, 2010, 03:59:51 am
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good one there  ;D

thanks
      
Little John from the big castle, plays with little friend,
snip! snip! snip! off goes his head, bright red! bright red!
Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#4  January 08, 2010, 04:25:34 am
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Hello, I'm Andrés from Argentina. I'm a film director and visual effects composer and I prepared a funny story called "Working day" for "Your big break". It starts with a guy called William that wakes up in his room when the alarm clock goes off. He brushes his teeth and eats his breakfast. Then he puts on a construction helmet so we assume he is a construction worker. Once he is ready he goes out to work and we see this.

-archive footage

William keeps doing his job and sees something on the floor. It's a young Maori that stares at him without believing what he sees. He is standing next to a canoe with a trail that comes from the sea behind him since he is the first Maori to arrive to New Zealand. William is also surprised to see the Maori. He tells the little guy that he is sorry, but people weren't supposed to arrive yet since the place is not finished. The Maori keeps staring at the giant until he starts screaming frightened and takes the canoe again to escape from William with crazy and silly movements. Well, that's the story.

There are:
-2 actors (one is me)
-7 greenscreen shots (all greenscreen footage is already done)
-1 interior scene in one location
-1 exterior scene in one location
-Post-produced by myself

I can easily compose the shots with the greenscreen footage within the post-production week.

So, the basic idea is that New Zealand is a place so young that someone got to see the man that created it with his own eyes just by getting there too soon.
Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#5  January 08, 2010, 04:35:42 am
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Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#6  January 08, 2010, 04:41:01 am
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oh! thanks a lot Titiln!

I really appreciate it :)
gonna be in the thanks credits.
      
Little John from the big castle, plays with little friend,
snip! snip! snip! off goes his head, bright red! bright red!
Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#7  January 08, 2010, 04:44:02 am
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Hello, my name is Andrés and I live in Argentina. I am a film director and visual effects artist. I have prepared a comedic story entitled, "Working day" or "Your big break".

The story starts in the early morning, with a man called William. He is in his bed, waking up to the blaring sound of his alarm clock. He brushes his teeth and eats his breakfast. He then puts on a hardhat. We assume he is a construction worker. As William is stepping out of his front door, we see this...

-archive footage

As William is doing his work, he sees something on the floor. It's a young Maori, staring back at him with disbelief. The Maori is standing next to a canoe that is beside a trail which leads to the sea behind him. He is the first Maori to arrive in New Zealand.
William is also surprised at what he sees. He tells the little guy that he is sorry, but people aren't supposed to arrive yet, since the place is not finished. The Maori keeps staring at William, who is a giant in comparison, and begins to scream with fright. He frantically grabs the canoe and with crazy and silly movements, quickly heads back down the trail to escape from the giant William. Well, that's the story.

There are:
-2 actors (one is me)
-7 greenscreen shots (all greenscreen footage is already done)
-1 interior scene in one location
-1 exterior scene in one location
-Post-produced by myself

I can easily compose the shots with the greenscreen footage, within the post-production week.

So, the basic idea is that New Zealand is a place so young that someone got to see the man that created it with his own eyes just by getting there too soon.
Last Edit: January 08, 2010, 05:06:03 am by Dr. House
Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#8  January 08, 2010, 04:46:29 am
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Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#9  January 08, 2010, 04:55:46 am
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Tits is right.

but yea, is a nice rewrite. :)
(to the thank credits too)

This pitch is actually a video where i say all this while showing some images. The "archive footage" parts shows us William working in New Zealand. He is giantic and craves the mountains with his tools giving them shape, puts snow over other snowy mountains that he takes from a bag and things like that. that's why the Maori is freaked out when seeing him.

      
Little John from the big castle, plays with little friend,
snip! snip! snip! off goes his head, bright red! bright red!
Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#10  January 08, 2010, 04:58:37 am
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"gigantic" ;)

do you want the above text edited too? or was what dr house and titiln did good enough?
Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#11  January 08, 2010, 04:59:59 am
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Thanks.

OH, I get it!
We're supposed to think that he is regular construction worker, yet he is building the entire country.
I'll change it.
Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#12  January 08, 2010, 05:01:34 am
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Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#13  January 08, 2010, 05:02:05 am
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I think I'm gonna need help with the script itself. Obviously Ill have to show them the actual script too. So I'll post it in this topic to get a better translation. It will be just a little longer than the pitch (But far worse translated I suppose)
      
Little John from the big castle, plays with little friend,
snip! snip! snip! off goes his head, bright red! bright red!
Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#14  January 08, 2010, 05:03:29 am
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i'll do it i'll do it
Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#15  January 08, 2010, 05:06:43 am
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I reedited my original post.

I missed the emphasis on the "assume he is a construction worker" line.
I gave the "assume" part its own sentence for emphasis and changed "construction helmet" to "hardhat", so the word "construction" doesn't repeat too much.

Rajaa's got a pretty sharp grasp on English grammar and mechanics. You should have him take a look at it too.

Good luck.

P.S. Can the Maori's name be Rominucka?
Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#16  January 08, 2010, 05:11:33 am
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Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#17  January 08, 2010, 05:28:14 am
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If you want to be a smart alec, call the canoe a "Waka" That's the name for a maori boat.

Edit: Extras

Maori consider themselves a strong warrior race. Most of their myth's involve a hero called Maui talking to stealing from and interceding with the gods in some manner. If any of them are involved in the judging of this, they probably won't like the lone person wetting himself and running off. I don't actually know how you can change that, but as i live over here, if there's anything you're after i can probably help.



In M.U.G.E.N there is no magic button

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.
Last Edit: January 08, 2010, 05:38:28 am by Cyanide
Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#18  January 08, 2010, 08:15:04 am
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from where they actually originated from, mongolia?
Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#19  January 08, 2010, 08:55:36 am
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Apparently most of human life evolved from Africa. Where people went after that, not sure. The pacific islands is more likely.


In M.U.G.E.N there is no magic button

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.
Re: need help to translate a small text for a contest. help me! :o
#20  January 08, 2010, 11:53:02 am
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Not to be confused with humans evolving from humans to be better humans. Homosapiens were/are a different branch of anthropoids that happened to be smarter and more apt to environmental change than all other emerging anthropoids of ancient times, thus eventually, as apparently, inheriting the earth. [/because I felt like it]