kakkoii superhero said, March 06, 2020, 11:02:04 amGeorgeMP said, March 05, 2020, 09:31:55 pmI am going to quit soon. But I'm not just quitting MUGEN, I'm also quitting LIFE. In more detail:On March 11th, 2019, I plan to stab myself with a knifeDon't do this.Also Dakangel got banned immediately without even a warning for that post. Disgusting.
It's easy to believe that no one will miss you or that others will live better when you are gone, but you are wrong. The worst thing I've ever done in life is make my own mother cry. I've done much more "crazier" things, but hell did that hurt the most. I ran away, and it nearly broke her heart believing her kid to never come back.I wanted to take my own life as well. Drowning, twice, but ... my amazing family and friends in mind kept me from going through, and a little spark of fire kept hope out for me, and eventually life turned around for the better.I've suffered from major depression, anxiety, stress and loneliness from 2015 and up to recently. I was bullied, I did not like myself, hated how I looked, and felt like a complete failure in life. However, I learned that life is like a rollercoaster; "everything that goes up, must come down, but once you are down there are no other way than up". Life can be truly difficult at times, but we need to try changing lightbulbs in the dark to make the best of our circumstances until we feel better.When life got rough, I went to see a psychologist, a friend, my closest family, and others who where there. Just knowing that it was ok to feel sad. It was ok that life did not have to be positive all the time, and that I had someone who would let me be me. Being able to release everything that has built up in my life, and continiously free myself of burden of heavy emotions. You can do this too. Love does not cost a thing!In 2019 I started to accept myself, and really like the guy I've turned out to be, and now in 2020 I love myself. There is always hope. I'm celebrating my 24th birthday 6th of march, and I've never felt happier. I believe in you. Now I need you to believe in yourself.
felo just spilled his personal story there, I feel sorry for him , I believe many of us also fighting our personal problems, if george have genuine problem then those hotline number would help him, I hope no unqualified member would attempt to counsel, and if he dares to try another prank, ban his ass for good. and also the guy above shared his, I hope all these are not for nothing.
This^George, contact the hotline, contact a therapist. They are perfectly qualified.We'll tell you, that you deserve another chance, give yourself another chance, you deserve that chance.
I remember times when I wanted to give up as well, times when I just felt simply pathetic, and never contribute to anything. Then I'd look at myself, thinking, "No. You've made it this far. You are stronger than you realize. You can do it. You can make things better."We are all here for you. Things will be better for you. You need to believe that as we do for you.
A great therapist I know used to always say "I'm not okay today, but today is not forever. I will be okay again."Being bullied is pretty shitty, and people who do it sometimes don't know they're wrongdoing others. At school I was bullied, but at home I bullied my sisters (not as a revenge, but just as "child's play"). I don't think people quite understand they're being assholes sometimes. What we can definitely do is try to find our way to control our responses to that. In time we all grow in age, size, but most importantly in wisdom. We must understand that even those we least suspect are going through a struggle of their own. There's this horrible "Impostor Syndrome when it comes to happiness", even more so during this day and age of social networks, and the constant effort by everybody to project and show only the ideal part of our lives, and this I understand and try super hard to remind myself constantly, that this isn't the real world and that I shouldn't yearn for or feel jealous by these constant reminders that other people's lives are seemingly better than mine.I once had a so-called friend who I learned later on that tried to practice some dumb witchcraft black magic shit on me because he was jealous of me, and his perception of "successful, handsome" me, when actually I never did anything different than my everyday life, while at the same time I was struggling with my own insecurities and the people I considered bullies, threats to me... but he perceived me in a complete different light. In time we mature, see things in hindsight and understand that some situations were being amplified by the tedium or loneliness, but they weren't quite as bad as we originally thought. In time you'll realize that probably your parents are going through their own struggles and that's why they can't help you, because their own plate is full or because they don't have the tools or ideas to help you improve, and get out of your problems. But that's alright, you can't realistically expect that of anybody. We're all incomplete people, it's impossible for one person to have ALL the answers... so don't be too hard on your judgement of them, I beg of you. Sometimes the were born in a different era and just don't understand what challenges this modern e-life proposes, as there is no precedent for much of what we're going through.Like other people have said here, seeking professional help is definitely the right way to go, at least those people are qualified and have better tools to help you get better. Sometimes even just saying things out loud will help you realize you actually have more answers than you think, and you just needed to bounce those ideas with someone else and connect the dots (and sometimes we think these people should be our friends and family, but sometimes they misunderstand these exchanges as conversations where they feel they have the right to weigh in, putting in their own thoughts and insecurities, and placing upon you their perceptions of you and your life or circumstances, leading to completely derailed conversations where the focus goes away from THIS very specific need you have - THIS IS WHY IT'S SO IMPORTANT THAT THE HELP YOU RECEIVE IS PROFESSIONAL, DEDICATED TO YOUR NEEDS).My man, George, it will get better. But you have to actually seek to get better, because there's definitely a chance for you to be happier and more complete if you just see this through, and press on to get to the other side. There are SO MANY places you haven't seen yet, so many beautiful things out there, so many laughs to be shared with people you haven't even met yet (because life works in very mysterious ways, I can assure you), but don't give up just yet. These negative thoughts you're having, this seeming incompetence from those around you to acknowledge your feelings should not define you or the rest of your days alive. Take control of your emotions, do this for you. Your value, your worth shouldn't be defined by anybody outside of you, you should know your value yourself, or if you don't know it just assign an arbitrary number of how happy you want to be, and just go steal that happiness for yourself. If they ain't giving it, you take it. Be a bit more selfish. People might consider you an asshole at times, but at least you'll still be around to see the storm clear out and you might find answers further along the road.Wait it out, get help from someone who knows what they're doing, don't expect too much of others and focus on yourself.You got this. We're counting on you.
GeorgeMP said, March 05, 2020, 09:31:55 pmNow, before you once again dismiss me as an attention-seeking troll, and proceed to make the day of my suicide a celebrated occasionThis is absolutely nothing to be celebrate We may be unknown to you, but we're not some faceless Web Anons around here, you know? The Mugens are made of many small group of close friends. This is a beautiful hobby that involves creation through iteration, and it's full of synergies and hype. Barely anybody is doing anything on their own. And somewhere, somehow your absence will be felt, so ...
Hey brother.I know we haven't interacted personally, but like some here I can also relate to your pain. I know shits hard man and I've been in that headspace before, believe me. I've gone on many hiatuses as proof of that and with time and resilience, I've always bounced back.I've lost a lot of friends in the past 4-5 years, not to mention 2 of my little cousins to OD and suicide (with zero chance at stopping/helping him) within the last 18 months. I can't put to words the impact/scars that it leaves behind. Just take a look and observe those reaching out to you via this thread/private messages. Your life absolutely matters, G and I can't emphasis that enough. Talk with your friends and therapist/s within reach, check in with yourself emotionally, try new things like awesome foods, and most importantly, keep learning. Move somewhere new if you have to. Pain is temporary and you are a king in the making. Self love is key and you've already taken the first step with this thread. Respect!As a fellow brethren, I love you, dude. Keep your head up!
Suprizle said, March 06, 2020, 04:51:13 pmmost importantly, keep learning.This this this this.There's so much beauty to be admired through the knowledge of new things, art and craft, because you learned how other people handled their struggle and channeled thier feelings through useful projects, whether it was to lift the load off their shoulders, or to accompany others and letting them know they were going through the same things so they wouldn't feel alone in their struggle.
My father, my best friend and my ex girlfriend all commit suicide, and it's incredibly painful. The world's a shitty place and in no way shape or form am i downplaying your traumas, but selfishly of me consider those it will impact around you before doing something like that.I grew up without a father.I never got too apologize too my ex. Never got too ask my friend what's wrong. Wish i could've.
Hey,YOU'RE TOO COOL! Don't leave yet, there's some pretty nice things that are still worthy to see here!Even if there are people or things that force the impression we are living in a bad timeline, you still have all the rights to overcome them and evolve to be whatever you want to be. You are a powerful live being, afterall. kakkoii superhero said, March 06, 2020, 12:59:51 pmI'm living depressed all my life, here sitting alone in empty house for 4 years, I hate it when it is used for attention seeking trollingI don't know if you already know it, but you deserve the good part of life, too.And being a troll or not doesn't really matter; Afterall, all trolls are in fact just complex sad people. So any help is good either way.Hey,this may be a bit unrelated, but... have you guys ever heard about Kero Kero Bonito?
I originally didn't want to post on this because I had difficulty thinking of what to say. But if you ever see this, all I have to say is, don't do it. We're here to help you with whatever you need.
I feel like I should try to help here. As I have struggled with depression all my life and have been suicidal more times than I can count. George, everytime I failed at ending myself, I was frustrated, because in that moment, I wanted to dissapear. But many, many good things, and of course, bad things too, have happened since. I've battled through extreme sadness, heartbreak, loneliness and more. And things have gotten better. My life is not perfect, far from it, but it's way better than it was 5 years ago when I made a similar post to yours. Things get better, sometimes it will seem like they got worse, sometimes you will feel sad and alone and much more, but things ALWAYS get better. We just have to hang on and withstand the storm of pain that comes sometimes, and you'll see, with time, that it was better that you stayed alive. It's easy to tell you this, and the usual "think of your loved ones". What's hard is to know how you feel. And I do. Everything will be ok. Just hang on.
GeorgeMP said, March 05, 2020, 09:31:55 pmI've been struggling with depression for the past few years now. Additionally, as a kid, I was bullied, and that hit me hard, as I now tend to avoid social interactions, hence why I'm so bad at them. Because of that, I choose to spend most of my waking moments alone in my room. This whole time, I was just trying to find true happiness, relearn social interaction, and have an escape from the sorry excuse of a life that I live. But it's backfiring so horribly that I now just want to kill myself. Here's the thing, I told my parents all about this, and they didn't believe a word I said.I know how that feels. High school was a period of time that I spent getting bullied by people, pretty much physical, almost everyday, from being pushed, ganged up on by other people, or my most hated one, a fresh cut to the back of your neck so hard, you crumple to the floor because it hurts so bad. I spent most of those years getting into fist fights in a futile attempt to dissuade people from using physical bullying against me. People would make me out to be the problematic kid, and called me things like "animal", "mongoloid", and "nigger" (yes, I had people call me that before, pale-skinned Arabs aren't very nice). And even still, I'd probably manage to get a few fists on their faces, only to have a gang of those dudes put me down quick.Professors weren't very helpful either, as they too also viewed me as a problematic person who just started fights without reason, and even if I did tell them what other people were doing to, they really didn't do anything (Lets just say Syria isn't very progressive on the topic of bullying and physical harassment in school), and it just led to more anger, disappointment, and humiliation. Parents weren't helpful as they were going through their own struggles, from finding stable employment, to taking care of my paternal grandmother (who passed away after a hit-and-run, then stroke while at the hospital, all very quickly; never found the hit-and-run guy unfortunately). My father would get unreasonably angry with me every time I fought with people, and I thought he viewed me in the same way as my teachers did. Those years in high school in Syria destroyed me really (or as one of my long-time elementary school friends stated "your childhood was slain man, damn"), it stunted my ability to interact with people socially. I didn't have much friends in high school, and I didn't even talk with my parents, relatives, or siblings much. Never got out of the house much either, and I just shut people off entirely. It didn't help much either when I signed up here in 2014, after moving from Syria to Canada after the death of my grandmother. Awkward social interactions, lot of fails, saying things to people that honestly tried to help me that looking back at it, I regret a lot. At one point, after coming back here (2015 I think), I really did contemplate offing myself, because I got to a point where I'm thinking "My whole existence is pointless, what am I still doing here". I didn't go through with the idea because I couldn't bring myself to do it, but I look back to this particular point, and I'm always thankful that I didn't attempt anything reckless. 5 years later, it's 2020, my social life has gotten better, managed to let go of most of the pain I held inside, and I'm learning new things, and hoping to help other people later on, maybe. I even managed to reconcile with my father on the whole topic of my high school years and get a straight answer from him (turns out he was deathly afraid I might hurt the kid of a well-connected person. Usually, in the Middle East, if you get in trouble with people that are well-connected to government people, you're pretty much fucked, and I went to a private high school, so the chances of that were pretty big). I'm on a better path in life that honestly felt alien and distant to me when I was 17/18. I'm 24 now.There's this saying in Islam where ease will follow after moments of strife/difficulty, be it personal, financial, etc. And I think that's honestly what happened to me. But you won't reach that point if you go ahead and off yourself. Nothing ever stays the same.So please, reconsider what you're doing. If you give it time and try, you'll walk out of the fire armed with wisdom. You have a whole lot ahead of you, so don't squander it. For your sake.
I sincerely thank you for your support. I'm glad you're willing to help. Was certainly expecting a lot worse, especially given my... questionable history here. But either way, I still very much appreciate it!And yes, I am going to make sure to try those hotlines.Once again I say: thank you.Spoiler: Stuff (click to see content)kakkoii superhero said, March 06, 2020, 11:02:04 amGeorgeMP said, March 05, 2020, 09:31:55 pmI am going to quit soon. But I'm not just quitting MUGEN, I'm also quitting LIFE. In more detail:On March 11th, 2019, I plan to stab myself with a knifeI dun goofed there. Whoops, I guess?CozySquirtle said, March 06, 2020, 01:45:39 pmMangeX said, March 06, 2020, 01:09:29 pmGeorgeMP said, March 05, 2020, 09:31:55 pmI am going to quit soon. But I'm not just quitting MUGEN, I'm also quitting LIFE. In more detail:On March 11th, 2019, I plan to stab myself with a knife. (Read on for details on how you can prevent this tragedy)Now, before you once again dismiss me as an attention-seeking troll, and proceed to make the day of my suicide a celebrated occasion, allow me to explain:Before you do something stupid, think about your beloved mother or the poor soul who have to clean your mess ,be a nice human and buy her a bottle of chlorine and a pair of gauntlets because nobody need to suffer for a coward.After a while you will be forgotten as the world keeps on turning for the living and the strong.DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK!This is so uncalled for! We're trying to prevent him from committing suicide and you're over here telling him to buy a bottle of chlorine for his mom?!? You just need to stay away from this topic. If you're going to be a complete ASSHOLE, do it someplace other than this topic, you fucking prick. Given the way things went here, just a 3 day ban seems generous honestly.
Don't worry about your reputation, these things are more important than anything that happen before.Keep trying George, never surrender!
MangeX said, March 06, 2020, 01:09:29 pmGeorgeMP said, March 05, 2020, 09:31:55 pmI am going to quit soon. But I'm not just quitting MUGEN, I'm also quitting LIFE. In more detail:On March 11th, 2019, I plan to stab myself with a knife. (Read on for details on how you can prevent this tragedy)Now, before you once again dismiss me as an attention-seeking troll, and proceed to make the day of my suicide a celebrated occasion, allow me to explain:Reuben Kee was a Singaporean M.U.G.E.N creator. He passes away drowned in a boating accident. November 23rd, 2007.Juan Carlos was a Spanish M.U.G.E.N creator who made tutorials for M.U.G.E.N. He fought and pass away due to cancer. May 28th, 2008Before you do something stupid, think about your beloved mother or the poor soul who have to clean your mess ,be a nice human and buy her a bottle of chlorine and a pair of gauntlets because nobody need to suffer for a coward.After a while you will be forgotten as the world keeps on turning for the living and the strong.https://www.wikihow.com/Clean-Blood-from-WallsOh my fucking god, WHAT HAVE YOU FUCKING DONE?!
GeorgeMP, being bullied sucks and it could be suffocating to the point that you may not see any light or way to overcome it.But trust me, it gets eventually better and one day, it will just be a thing of the past and you will move on. You just need a bit of patience and look forward to it.On the meantime, there are things you can do to improve your life:- Change your school and go to a new one where you could "start from scratch". Don't worry about leaving or casting away friends from the former school, you will make new ones everywhere you go- Enroll into a gym or dojo, preferably one that teaches martial arts and self defense. Learning them will boost your self esteem and you will feel better. And if you are ever bullied, you will be able to kick back and the bullying will stop just because bullies target the easy victims. If you give them a tough time, they won't bother you again. 80% of the UFC fighters and other top martial artists have recognized they went into martial arts training from being bullied while they were kids, and trust me, they ate now the toughest guys in the world- Join a support group for bullied people. It's important for you to know you are not alone and to have other people talking and sharing experiences and resources. Talking out is also a good therapy to feel better and get help from experts.You should not be ashamed of your life and what you ate suffering at the moment. Life can be tough at some times and you would fell into depression, but there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and things get better at the end, you just need patience and guiding on your journey through depression and bullying. Quiting is not an option
You should learn how to defiance.Next time if someone tries to bully you,kick or hit with your knee to his/her genitals.Furthermore,dont be sad due to other people's behaviour.
