You can confront the guy, if you know who he is. Unless your grilfriend is available, that's it.

who she told me doesn't want a relationship from her, she said more like friends with benefits

I understand and really I was expecting far worse replies about the situation and how to "deal" with it. Half of me understands she wants someone there right now, but I have always been loyal, I never so much as gave other girls or ideas of them a single idea. I know I should of been up there, but half of me felt wrong abandoning my family when I help with so much. Such as dealing with parents possibly losing their house and helping them pay for mortgage, helping my grandmother and dealing with finding a decent school to go to. Her family also has "unwarmed" from me and although she says it isn't hate, but they don't like me anymore either, so any support there might as well be gone. I'm not perfect in any shape or form, but I have tried everything in my power to make her happy. My pride, will and love feel gone.

But, wht had she done to make you happy ?

She told me that he likes her in that way and she sort of feels it back for him. [...] She told me she had no plans to it yet with him.

If she is provoking a reaction and you are not giving her any because you are overanalyzing the situation, that might be really counter-productive.

Duuude. How is this not eating you up inside?
Could it be that your lack of reaction to something wtf like this might be part of the problem? Most girls I know would be really upset if they told their boyfriend they are thinking about having sex with someone else and he didn't blow his fuse. If she is provoking a reaction and you are not giving her any because you are overanalyzing the situation, that might be really counter-productive.

^ This. Dude, what happened to those times, seriously?

Some countries are even starting to handle marriage as a contract which you have to renew every few years- and that doesn't seem like a bad idea.

Divorce can be used as a threat as well, should that be banned so people cant be threatened with it?

what I mean by 3rd party is more like: since you just lost your job and thus you're unfit to renew your contract, etc.

it is different when it is being instituted, it change the whole feeling and how people will see their marriage, from something that ideally should last forever, into more temporal and modular thing.

what I meant was if there is a judge, a doctor or a psychologist to see your current status and decide if you are allowed or declared fit to continue your marriage, the same thing like renewing other professional licenses, fit and proper test thing.

on the other hand the only positive thing I can see from it is maybe the rejuvenated feeling of the commitment that might change thing into more positive at least for awhile.

but this is highly secular, will never happen in countries that is strongly embrace religion.

What's with all the sudden self-righteousness of not splitting and putting up with someone who makes you miserable?

Now I feel bad about how I responded to that picture with the way you guys are putting it. 

Wow what a cynical bunch.  What ever happened to vows and promises, mating for life, building a family and  growing old together?  I guess I better do my husband hunting on a Star Wars forum.

 

DMK said, May 04, 2012, 10:00:32 pm

Now I feel bad about how I responded to that picture with the way you guys are putting it. 

what picture? something someone deleted?

You can smell it coming. Your paramour has left an ominous message on your voicemail. S/he wants to talk. Perhaps you have been invited to meet him somewhere public. Maybe she's cancelled a date, and is meeting you at your place instead. But you're not an idiot and you can anticipate what's next: your ass is about to get dumped. C'est la vie.

Here is your foolproof guide to navigating your breakup. Follow these simple directions and I can guarantee a minimum of stress and heartbreak. If you desire, this technique will ensure your probability of reconciliation is maximized. Want her back? Listen well:

1. On the day you get the news, listen very calmly. Say as little as possible. You will probably hear some BS like, "It's not you - it's me" or "I just need some space for a while" or "let's still be friends"... blah blah blah. Do not argue. Accept everything s/he says. S/he may become emotional. Make no move to comfort him or her. When s/he has finished, do not linger. Say goodbye and leave. If you are in your own home, show him or her the door. A chaste hug is OK, but under NO circumstances should you offer or accept a goodbye kiss, a final quickie, or any of that shit. If you're at a restaurant, do not hang around to split the tab: guys - pay the bill and leave. Ladies - just bail. There is no need to be sterile or brusque, by all means be courteous and kind. Understanding even. But wait until your (now) ex is out of earshot to cry like a bitch.

If you get the news over the phone (ouch), the same rules apply. Just hang up.

If you get a voice/email message, DO NOT respond. Chances are a relationship that ends electronically can't be salvaged, but don't make things worse by taking the bait.

2. The bad news is, this is the hard part. The good news is, this is the part of the Ultimate Guide to Breakups over which you have the most control. It is the centerpiece of the method, and your stamina during this phase will determine your success later on. Want the secret? Here is is:

DO NOTHING.

At first you will be sad. Possibly very sad. Get out of the house. Distract yourself. Hang out with your friends - preferably the ones your ex doesn't know too well, because s/he will be checking up on you. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you contact your ex. For anything.

Chances are after a few days s/he will contact you, "just to see how you're doing." Do not respond. Let it go to voicemail. Don't call back. Delete the email. It's that simple. It'll be hard, but hang in there. Don't let your curiosity get the best of you. You are under no obligation to respond to someone who has kicked you to the curb.

Maybe you've been together for a while and s/he has left personal items in your home. This is the only circumstance under which it's ok to respond. Wait at least 24 hours before you reply. Tell your ex that you will FedEx his/her stuff. Pay for the fastest method you can afford. If s/he insists upon picking it up, leave it someplace safe and make sure you're NOT there when s/he arrives. Make your interaction courteous and brief. Get off the phone as quickly as possible.

If you do not receive a call within a month, you probably won't get a call until s/he drunk dials you many years from now. Move on.

The sooner s/he calls you after dumping you, however, the better your chances are for reconciliation. Again, do not call back. Stay tough. You are now in control of the situation.

3. The sooner the first post-breakup call comes, the more calls/texts/emails you will likely receive. DO NOT RESPOND to any of them... yet. In these modern times you may also be privy to his/her evocative facebook updates, blog posts, reality TV show episodes, whathaveyou. Make no contact. If you absolutely must be in the same place at the same time, try to look fit and happy and surrounded yourself with people s/he doesn't know.

Right around this time (unless you were dumped for someone else) your ex is beginning to experience the downside of singleness. S/he may be feeling lonely and horny, and start wondering if s/he made the right choice. That is exactly what you want. Let him/her fucking stew in it. Your patience will be rewarded.

4. By now, your ex is curious about you. Maybe s/he's even been seeing some new people. But the fact that you have made a clean break with such poise will be a blow to the ego. Remember, the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. S/he will be thinking, "Was I really so easy to get over?" and "Gee - maybe it really WAS me." If you've done this right, you will receive a call (or email) inviting you to "hang out." Perhaps the tone will be casual, perhaps it will be desperate. Either way, congratulations for getting this far. The ball is now in your court.

5. Proceed carefully from here. Eagerness could lead to a booty call, but little more. Ask yourself: what do I want? If you want to resume a relationship, wait 48-72 hours before responding. Say you're unavailable at the time your ex suggests, but recommend another meeting time at least a week in the future. You name the place. From here on out, everything is on your terms.

6. Let nature take its course. If your ex is ready to give it another shot, s/he will be dressed like it's a first date. If the sexual tension is palpable, you may choose to knock boots and sort out the details in the sticky afterglow. If you can contain yourself, feign trepidation and ask him/her to meet you again - also in a place you select. Build anticipation. Make him/her work for it. If executed correctly, your ex will be so grateful to have you back s/he will be on his/her very best behavior, possibly for years to come.

7. Repeat as necessary.

Sorry for not really replying to it, I've been kinds skating with it for now.

We "are" together and she is still into him. Not sure where its going.

I hate doing that to people or seeming, for lack of a better word, emo.