The Mugen Fighters Guild - jaede_ is retired and tired of the MUGEN

jaede_

jaede_ is retired and tired of the MUGEN

#1 November 09, 2024, 06:38:20 pm

it's me
Bat's a Wrap.

TL;DR:

I am aware that the rate of people who swear they'll exit stage left these communities and come back to create content is almost 100%. I am not here to make a huge fuzz since I'm just one of the rest of the creators in this website, however I just kind of want to throw this out there because of closure about these several grievances I've had over the past years with myself and creating content for this engine.

If you've been keeping tabs on me, the quantity of creations I've made has stagnated over the years, normally this happens to most people as they try to come up with fresh and innovative ideas and get inspiration from several places, however, I have not really disclosed that over the past ten or so years, possibly even before I've had several bouts of depression and self-isolation that had gone undiagnosed and it's only hit harder in the past few 5 years or so. I am currently taking care of that so try not to worry too much about it, however I still struggle with these feelings.

I've lost several of the interests that kept me glued into this engine, I don't really feel into Touhou all that much these days, I don't play and like playing fighting games because of my ineptitude and easy irritation towards them, I don't have interest on making more original characters for the engine especifically, especially not after the one I've made being some cringe now basically owned by the internet's character. Furthermore, all my closest friends have abandoned the engine as well so I don't have much motivation to keep making stuff they would enjoy playing with all the time, or discussing coding techniques.

It's also come to my retrospection that most of my important contributions were to help other people's projects, I tried making my own project as well, however it kind of died because I got too eager to release an alpha build and then all the motivation dried out, as I felt like making each character became way less fun over time, in fact I feel I've been just a lazier and lazier creator as things got further down the road, I almost never compiled my own SFFs and whenever I would have to I would just groan, I take animation data from other characters if available and minorly adjust them to my liking, and just kinda feel like these days I just slap my template over things. Sure maybe some things got efficient and I try to investigate if my sources are correct, but I feel that over time my contributions to the engine have been middling at best or just knock-offs of other people's better work, it's been a huge impostor syndrome I've been feeling. I owe my best contributions to this engine to more talented people. The only characters I would say are fully my own in recent time is Osaka and Tamaki as I put a lot of effort into those, but that's because my full game project had just started and I didn't hit burnout yet.

Another aspect is that I don't feel I have many friends in the community, I am not the best person to get along with, I don't share many common interests and topics to talk about and I've lost friends along the way to stupid stuff, so overall it's just been hard to stick around for much.

Will I come back? Probably, if I get nostalgic about MUGEN again or end up playing fighting games again, both of which are very unlikely. It's more likely I end up following my other hobbies like drawing, being a musician or just gaming in general, or just being in the work-force as most people are. Thanks for your read if you stuck this far.

Yeaaaah im shootign ducks wiht the paino

PotS

Re: jaede_ is retired and tired of the MUGEN

#2 November 10, 2024, 10:04:47 am

People can get so used to working on Mugen that it becomes a routine and almost like a job. Don't try to force it and go do the other stuff instead.

You can help with Ikemen GO's development by trying out the latest development build and reporting any bugs on GitHub.
My Mugen and Ikemen content can also be found here.

JJkoolaid

Re: jaede_ is retired and tired of the MUGEN

#3 November 10, 2024, 03:07:58 pm

Your Successor in Netherrealm Service!!!

Yeah I am in the same boat too jaede_. I have lost my mugen interest and focused more on my life and other things . It really helps to have a good support system.

Your Successor in Netherrealm Service!!!

Tiger-Boy

Re: jaede_ is retired and tired of the MUGEN

#4 November 10, 2024, 07:44:28 pm

"I'm Bal... I'm Veg...*Sigh* Just call me 'Claw'."

MUGEN is a hobby, and can't be seen as anything more than that. Our lives, responsabilities and family must always come first.

I myself was absent from MUGEN for around 8 years, before coming back. And when I did, I learned and did so much more than before.

Perhaps it's your time to take a break. But if you don't come back, I wish you the best in your life.

"Remember kids; Curiosity created MUGEN!"

Check Out Cammy-Delta-Red-Development HERE

Foobs

Re: jaede_ is retired and tired of the MUGEN

#5 November 10, 2024, 09:05:26 pm

90's Kawaii
:thinking:

jaede_ said, November 09, 2024, 06:38:20 pm

Another aspect is that I don't feel I have many friends in the community, I am not the best person to get along with,

Nah, you're a cool guy to have around.

Even if you don't change your mind about moogen, drop on the discord server some time so we know you're doing ok.

Mintloid

Re: jaede_ is retired and tired of the MUGEN

#6 November 10, 2024, 11:52:58 pm

The Vo-Cool-oid
Do you want to listen to the waves?

Ah shucks, I figured you'd be leaving sometime soon. I also find myself giving up a little bit of mugen as well ever since my mother was at rehab last year (as a bonus, I recently moved my OS to Linux, since I can't stand seeing how awful Windows and thier IP is getting now that Win 10 is at its final year of support).

I do tend to stick around cause everybody here including you make hobbies like mugen worth while, it just makes me glad to know I got great friends around this community.

I'd still love to see u stick around just to hangout, U already done some great work.

Spoiler, click to toggle visibilty

He who is brave is free! - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Lyrica

Re: jaede_ is retired and tired of the MUGEN

#7 November 11, 2024, 01:59:35 pm

I really hope that you at least show up (here or in the discord server) once in a while.

I usually don't like to talk about my experiences being similar in a topic like this, because this is about you, not me, but is hard to avoid it when you're in the same boat and you know the feeling. I have a bit of the impostor syndrome sometimes too, I feel like everything I did either is someone else's merit or is overshadowed by someone who made what I made but better. Is hard to be motivated when you're in this situation, so I see why you're taking this decision.

It's been almost a year that I have not released anything major, because I'm more interested in other things, other activities, other games, but I still check the forum and the discord. I hope you can do the same, as I said earlier.

"Maybe the real MUGEN was the friends we made along the way."

Take care, your health always comes first. You have all my support.

Funk

Re: jaede_ is retired and tired of the MUGEN

#8 November 11, 2024, 09:46:40 pm

music rules
hi

Take care, jaede.

Basara Lapis

Re: jaede_ is retired and tired of the MUGEN

#9 November 12, 2024, 05:10:55 am

Take better care of the plants around u or become
the fertilizer that feeds them.The choice is yours

Foobs said, November 10, 2024, 09:05:26 pm

Even if you don't change your mind about moogen, drop on the discord server some time so we know you're doing ok.

+1 to this
From first hand I can tell you anyone can totally retire of MUGEN, I tried to do it myself a couple of times and I always come back to this XD I hope you do too, but if you don't, don't stand so far of forum and/or discord, it's good (and fun) to interact with you so stay online anyway

Rest in peace, Toriyama-san...
Normal WIPS - ClayFighter - Ideas - Anti-Gouki Project - Lifebars - Facebook - X

jaede_

Re: jaede_ is retired and tired of the MUGEN

#10 November 12, 2024, 10:15:20 pm

it's me
Bat's a Wrap.

Thank you all for your kind and encouraging words, I'm glad to know it's not a just me issue when it comes to staying motivated and in touch with this hobby. I wish I could write a more personalized response to you all but I may have too long of a post, but I am glad that you people can understand. I may come back to the discord to keep in touch with you all.

Yeaaaah im shootign ducks wiht the paino

Akito

Re: jaede_ is retired and tired of the MUGEN

#11 November 13, 2024, 01:28:35 am

Osu!
Dragon Destiny Project
Online

I am one of the people you helped, and your attention to the adjustments that my Julia character needed was essential for me to continue her development. I am very grateful for your help and your name will certainly be in the credits.

I wish you all the best, and if you want to talk, you can call me on Discord whenever you want!

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jaede_

jaede_ is retired and tired of the MUGEN

PotS

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JJkoolaid

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Tiger-Boy

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Foobs

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Mintloid

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Lyrica

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Funk

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Basara Lapis

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jaede_

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Akito

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